“Real change is difficult in the beginning, but gorgeous at the end. Change begins the moment you get the courage to step outside your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
Roy T. Bennett
Feeling safe and comfortable. That’s what life is all about right? Think again…
We all have the tendencies to stay within our comfort zones. It’s our “safe space”, where we can really just breathe and be ourselves.
But is it really? Or is it the one thing that is holding you back from truly living?
For most of my life, when I was truly at my happiest, I stayed within my comfort zone. However, this is mostly because when I tried to step outside of that safe space, I was made fun of, ridiculed, and that sent my anxiety to an all time high.
It’s no secret that this past year has been a rough one for me mentally, emotionally, and physically. I was forced out of my comfort zone by me and because of the decisions/mistakes that I made, I lost those I was most comfortable with. I felt safe.
But are we ever truly and wholeheartedly safe? What does being safe mean to you? For me it meant protecting myself by all means necessary. By telling myself that I was not good enough for anyone to love, for anyone to want to be around, that I had no worth. This was how I protected myself. Sounds contradicting right? It didn’t to me. I told myself that by never thinking that I was worth anything, then I didn’t expect to be treated as such. Therefore, I would never be disappointed and hurt.
But you’re right if you thought this was wrong of me. I was only fooling myself. I did open myself up to people, only those people chose to hurt me and bring me down every single opportunity that they got. So when I decided to step out of my comfort zone, I started with my inner self. I started to think better of myself, and expect better from others. I realized just how many toxic relationships I was involved in.
Let me tell you, one of the biggest things that narcissists hate, is when they start losing control of people. And boy did they try to retaliate with my new found confidence. For a while, it worked. I regressed and thought that I was the things they all said I was. Every time I started to bring myself up just a bit, I was reminded once again how terrible of a human being I was. I fell into such a dark hole that I began to self-destruct over anything and everyone around me. It was easier that way. Rather than be hurt and accept the fact that the people who I had poured myself into for so long, quite frankly did not give two shits about me, only themselves.
But something was happening that didn’t make sense to me. The more I stepped out of my comfort zone, the more people retaliated and refused to be around me, yet I was starting to be OKAY with that. Why though? How could I be okay, with the people I’ve spent nearly half of my life maintaining relationships with, not wanting anything to do with me?
Because I realized that they fed off of my self hatred, and I was their easiest punching bag. More so, I was realizing that I didn’t need them to be happy. I don’t blame them honestly, I am at fault for allowing such negative relationships to evolve and survive.
By stepping out of my comfort zone, I started to grow. I didn’t realize how much I was holding myself back. By growing and starting to do this, my healthy relationships started growing stronger.
This is a challenge I work with everyday and I am inviting you all to join me. I challenge you to step out of your comfort zones. It doesn’t have to be doing what I did. That was my own personal journey that I continue on. However, I’ve since grown from doing that to the things that excite me but I’ve always been too scared to do. Maybe it can be the opposite for you. Start with doing something that you’ve always let your anxiety and fears stand in front of and see how you feel afterwards. Don’t focus on the feelings before, because the most empowering thing is that YOU SURVIVED those feelings. The things that you feared the most didn’t kill you.
YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH.
Until next time my friends. Continue standing strong like the wildflowers that you are.
Britt
Feeding My Soul One Day At A Time 