Tag: Holidays

Our First Christmas Without You

by wildflower518, posted in Grief, Holiday, positive thoughts

“It is perfectly okay to admit you’re not okay.”

Unknown

Grief is a phenomenon that experts have been trying to understand for as long as time began. The truth is. We will never understand unless we experience it ourselves. I didn’t understand it at all until this year.

The brutal truth is that whenever we lose someone who we helped shape who we are means you lose a piece of yourself. And no matter how hard people try to tell you that they understand. They don’t. Because every single being is different and unique in their own ways.

Not a single person in this universe can tell you how to grieve. No one can tell you the appropriate ways to grieve. And no one should fault you for how you grieve.

This is going to be our first Christmas without you. Halloween night we would have been over at your house starting to decorate, maybe sooner. You would have already watched at least 4 different Christmas Carol movies. You would have discussed which bear you needed to get this year for your collection. And how you cannot wait to see the babies play with your tree and redecorate it.

The smile on your face would have been undeniable. It is officially Christmas season for you. And that meant it was for the rest of us to. You would’ve started planning on your Christmas activities at school and which animated toys you were going to bring each day.

We decorated for Christmas this past weekend. Yes it’s early for a lot of people. But you instilled in us the true spirit of Christmas and no one can or ever will take that away from us or you.

To be honest. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this first Christmas without you. How my babies are going to handle it without you. Our Big Mom Mom.

The only thing that brings me comfort is knowing you’re going to be celebrating with your mom and telling her all about your village.

The only plans I have is to honor your memory in every way possible through Christmas. You were our Christmas gift each year. You were my second momma. I will never be able to express in words what you meant to me. I know it pales in comparison to your kids. But you introduced me as your adopted daughter. You were apart of my soul.

And when you left us you took a lot of pieces of souls with you.

This holiday season I encourage you to check in on the ones who have an empty chair this year. They may not be okay. And that’s okay. Even when we have no words to help. Sometimes just having another presence is all someone needs.

For those with the empty chair this year. Lean on your loved ones. Encourage each other to enjoy those memories of the people who should be occupying those chairs. Laugh through the tears, and try to be thankful for the years those chairs were occupied. They may have left us with holes in our souls. But that’s only because they were loved so much, and they had such an impact.

I will be fighting this battle with you this year. And the only way I can think of feeding my soul is by trying to fill the hole with the memories. So I challenge you to do the same.

Until next time my friends.

Keep standing stall like the wildflowers that you are.

Britt

I will live in the past, the present, and the future. The spirits of all three shall strive within me.

Charles Dickens- A Christmas Carol

Dear Family: The Scariest Part About Holidays is You.

by wildflower518, posted in Food, Food Allergies, Holiday, Medical, parenting
Disclaimer: this post may contain affiliate links. I am in no way shape or form a professional or a doctor. i am not authorized or trying to give medical or legal advice. this article is intended for educational and informative purposes only.

The holidays are a time of joy, laughter, love, nostalgia, giving, family, and food comas.

At least that’s the way that I grew up. It is some of my most cherished memories. Spending time with every ounce of my family members, singing songs, eating our Grandparent’s famous meals, and going home with full bellies until we slipped into that blissful food coma.

And now all I can think of or feel when the holidays arrive is fear for my son’s life.

Back then, food allergies weren’t thought of. They weren’t something that was even really heard of. We maybe heard of being lactose intolerant but all that meant to us was that, unless those people wanted or didn’t care about having upset stomachs then they would just stay away from all milk products. Never in a million years did we think that food we cherished so dearly on the holidays could kill us.

Three years a go was when we learned about my youngest son being allergic to eggs. We were having a family breakfast. He was 13 months, I did everything I was supposed to. I followed all of the guidelines I was told to when feeding him. He was breastfed until he weaned himself at 15 months. Nobody in my family or my husband’s had food allergies, how could this happen? I had at this point heard of nut and shellfish allergies, but not eggs.

What did I do wrong? How am I supposed to cook or feed my family when eggs are in EVERYTHING?

Those were all of the things that I had to process in between his allergist giving me the results and providing us with a prescription for epi-pens, as well as educational resources. I got in my car to drive him home and cried. I had my moment, and then I knew what I had to do. Find a way to completely rid my house of anything that contained egg and start fresh. I called a friend and she helped me go through my entire household and I gave her everything that wasn’t safe for my little boy.

Things started to sink in, I felt alone, and then I opened the folder the doctor had given me. It was so overwhelming to look at all of the information and realizing how lucky we had been. I didn’t know that each time a person has an allergic reaction, it’s worse than before. I didn’t know that companies didn’t have to put a MAY CONTAIN statement on their food products. They only have to put it within the ingredients. I didn’t feel as alone anymore, but heartbroken to realize that 1 in 13 kids have food allergies. I dove myself into https://www.foodallergy.org/ to find out as much as I could to keep my baby safe. After all, his daddy and I are his only advocates until he knows enough to be able to speak up for himself.

It’s been over three years and despite everything in my power there is always an inner struggle. I want my son to be as safe as possible, but I can’t expect everyone to conform to what I feel needs to be done in order to keep my son safe. I am that helicopter mom. He has to be exposed to real life situations in order to learn, I know this. But it TERRIFIES me.

We have drifted apart from most family and friends. A lot of them don’t understand that he literally cannot be in the same room as eggs, or even be touched by someone who has eaten eggs. The guilt trips come. They always come. My son feels isolated from his family, he doesn’t know half of them. And it’s NO ONE’S fault.

A few years a go we decided to have Thanksgiving dinners at our house to give him a proper holiday meal and stay home from the other family dinners, whoever wanted to come could come but we would not be leaving the house that day. Nothing gives me greater joy than seeing my son being able to enjoy a big meal and not have to ask everyone around him if the food is “safe” for him. This house and mommy and daddy’s cooking are his safe zone. But yet, the guilt trips continue, the drama continues and I honestly don’t care.

So yes, our dear family, the scariest part of our holidays are YOU. Not because you don’t love us, we know that you do, as we do you. But because you try to use emotional blackmail to force us to put our son in a life threatening situation. It’s not enjoyable for us or him. We are happy to welcome you into our home and even visit yours on a different day. But we hope that one day you will understand. We have found a way as a family to positively move forward and adapt to the way our lives have changed. And we couldn’t be happier with the choices we have made thus far.

Over 32 million Americans struggle, live, and thrive with food allergies each day. My son is 1 of them. But the biggest part of battling a disease is having a support system. This is no different. So I challenge the family and friends out there with loved ones who suffer from food allergies to do your research, try to understand, and help them fight to try to alleviate the burdens this disease puts on them. You never know the difference you may make.

If you want to take a step further I encourage you to check out https://www.foodallergy.org/ and their resources. Every day is a learning experience. Choose how YOU wish to feed your soul.

Until next time my friends! Continue to stay strong like the wildflowers you are in this stormy weather.

Britt

THIS POST IS NOT SPONSORED BY FARE BUT I DO SUPPORT THEIR CAUSE.