Changing your thought process is no easy task. As a matter of fact, my best advice when it comes to this process is faking it until you make it.
You see, my perception of this concept is far different than most people I’m surrounded with view it as. Most people view this concept as faking a positive outcome, until the outcome is truly what you wanted in the first place. But it goes so much deeper than this.
Having a positive outlook in life is something most of us strive for. But how do we get there? When I realized that I was quite frankly exhausted of being negative all of the time because it was absolutely redundant. So how did I start the process of not just thinking but LIVING positively?
I started by going into the deepest, darkest parts of my soul. My biggest fear has always been to be left alone with my own thoughts. They were scary, mean and just plain hateful. When those nasty, self-loathing, negative thoughts would enter my head, I made a conscious effort to reverse those thoughts. I would essentially “fake” how I was thinking. Eventually, one day I realized I hadn’t done it in a while and realized I MADE IT! It wasn’t something that happened overnight. It has taken me the better part of a year, and something that you have to be honest with yourself is that you will NEVER stop working on yourself.
We are constantly evolving as human beings. So why would we put our thought process in a stalemate just because we are comfortable. Change is something that is uncomfortable and scary for a lot of people. However, the longer and harder we fight it the further it pushes us back from being the best versions of ourselves.
So I challenge you to try reversing your negative thoughts each day to positive ones. After each day, take a mental note of how that affected the rest of your day as well as your attitude. Review it after a month and I guarantee that you will see change!
Until next time my friends. Continue standing strong like a wildflower in a storm!
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“Until you let go of all the toxic people in your life, you will never be able to grow into your fullest potential. Let them go so you can grow.”
DLQ
Ending any kind of relationship is hard.
Whether it be a relationship with a partner, or with a friend.
It’s all painful, heartbreaking, and frustrating all in the same token.
So what happens when the individuals involved in this relationship grow in separate directions and one of you refuse to accept who they are now?
In my experience, the arguments began. The resentment for one not taking the time to get to know who you are now, and for refusing to accept who you’ve become or why.
I was left feeling as if I was this terrible human being because I did not fit into their world any longer. Because they could not agree with the fact that I would not conform to be who they expected me to be.
There was one thing I was not going to do though… change who I was becoming, or the path that I was on. I was beginning to FINALLY like myself. I was starting to look forward to my future. I was not allowing others to dictate my happiness and who I was.
That’s when I realized what was really happening.
All of my life I had forced myself to conform to others. I always put their happiness above my own. And when I finally started putting myself first, they couldn’t handle it.
So I challenge you, with the new year approaching, to set a New Years Resolution that has nothing to do with physical health. Work towards your mentalhealth. I can promise everything will fall into place, while the toxic things (or people) will fall out.
“It’s up to you today to start making healthy choices. Not choices that are just healthy for your body, but healthy for your mind.”
Steve Maraboli
Until next time my friends, continue to stand strong like the wildflowers that you are.
What if I said there is no normal? That normal is based off of current societal standards and acceptable behavior to our peers.
It sounds so constricting right? But yet that is what is expected of us by our peers. To be their idea of “normal”….
And if you don’t conform to their idea and definition of normalcy where does that leave you?
Up a creek without a paddle
This leaves you isolated and branded. Every single being on this planet has their own opinion of what normalcy is. As unique as all of our personalities are, is how unique our idea of normal is.
So why force others to conform to essentially change their personalities to match ours? That wipes out who we are as individuals and we lose our self identity.
Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?
Charles Bukowski
Really can you remember? I couldn’t, then I found myself seeking nature and the sanctity of it. The more I found myself in the woods, the more of myself I found out there.
By feeding my soul, I found my own idea of normalcy and chose more and more to be accepting of others’ personalities. Even when we have different values and opinions, it’s still so important to me to accept them as they are.
But I also found the strength to be MY normal despite it going against everyone else’s false sense of normalcy.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a law-abiding citizen. I’m still focused on my mental health as well as being kind to others. But I am truly finding myself and who I am without others, as well as society telling me who I’m supposed to be.
If we had all conformed to society’s definition of normalcy from the beginning we wouldn’t have some of the strongest movements in the world today.
From the #metoo movement, to the LGBTQ community’s strides that they have made, to the Civil War. We will always have the chances and the need to grow and adapt as a society. But one thing that all of these monumental movements have in common is that these were people who refused to let society and their peers define who they were.
The chose to break free from the normalcy despite the costs.
I challenge you to find a quality about yourself (let’s face it we all have at least one) that doesn’t conform to your society’s normalcy and choose today to be YOU. Set your own standards of who you want to be. It’s always scary to dig deep within yourself and put yourself out there. But you will NEVER be disappointed in yourself for being your very own, unique self.
As always my friends. Continue standing strong through the storms like the wildflower you are.
“Real change is difficult in the beginning, but gorgeous at the end. Change begins the moment you get the courage to step outside your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
Roy T. Bennett
Feeling safe and comfortable. That’s what life is all about right? Think again…
We all have the tendencies to stay within our comfort zones. It’s our “safe space”, where we can really just breathe and be ourselves.
But is it really? Or is it the one thing that is holding you back from truly living?
For most of my life, when I was truly at my happiest, I stayed within my comfort zone. However, this is mostly because when I tried to step outside of that safe space, I was made fun of, ridiculed, and that sent my anxiety to an all time high.
It’s no secret that this past year has been a rough one for me mentally, emotionally, and physically. I was forced out of my comfort zone by me and because of the decisions/mistakes that I made, I lost those I was most comfortable with. I felt safe.
But are we ever truly and wholeheartedly safe? What does being safe mean to you? For me it meant protecting myself by all means necessary. By telling myself that I was not good enough for anyone to love, for anyone to want to be around, that I had no worth. This was how I protected myself. Sounds contradicting right? It didn’t to me. I told myself that by never thinking that I was worth anything, then I didn’t expect to be treated as such. Therefore, I would never be disappointed and hurt.
But you’re right if you thought this was wrong of me. I was only fooling myself. I did open myself up to people, only those people chose to hurt me and bring me down every single opportunity that they got. So when I decided to step out of my comfort zone, I started with my inner self. I started to think better of myself, and expect better from others. I realized just how many toxic relationships I was involved in.
Let me tell you, one of the biggest things that narcissists hate, is when they start losing control of people. And boy did they try to retaliate with my new found confidence. For a while, it worked. I regressed and thought that I was the things they all said I was. Every time I started to bring myself up just a bit, I was reminded once again how terrible of a human being I was. I fell into such a dark hole that I began to self-destruct over anything and everyone around me. It was easier that way. Rather than be hurt and accept the fact that the people who I had poured myself into for so long, quite frankly did not give two shits about me, only themselves.
But something was happening that didn’t make sense to me. The more I stepped out of my comfort zone, the more people retaliated and refused to be around me, yet I was starting to be OKAY with that. Why though? How could I be okay, with the people I’ve spent nearly half of my life maintaining relationships with, not wanting anything to do with me?
Because I realized that they fed off of my self hatred, and I was their easiest punching bag. More so, I was realizing that I didn’t need them to be happy. I don’t blame them honestly, I am at fault for allowing such negative relationships to evolve and survive.
By stepping out of my comfort zone, I started to grow. I didn’t realize how much I was holding myself back. By growing and starting to do this, my healthy relationships started growing stronger.
This is a challenge I work with everyday and I am inviting you all to join me. I challenge you to step out of your comfort zones. It doesn’t have to be doing what I did. That was my own personal journey that I continue on. However, I’ve since grown from doing that to the things that excite me but I’ve always been too scared to do. Maybe it can be the opposite for you. Start with doing something that you’ve always let your anxiety and fears stand in front of and see how you feel afterwards. Don’t focus on the feelings before, because the most empowering thing is that YOU SURVIVED those feelings. The things that you feared the most didn’t kill you.
YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH.
Until next time my friends. Continue standing strong like the wildflowers that you are.
Grief is a phenomenon that experts have been trying to understand for as long as time began. The truth is. We will never understand unless we experience it ourselves. I didn’t understand it at all until this year.
The brutal truth is that whenever we lose someone who we helped shape who we are means you lose a piece of yourself. And no matter how hard people try to tell you that they understand. They don’t. Because every single being is different and unique in their own ways.
Not a single person in this universe can tell you how to grieve. No one can tell you the appropriate ways to grieve. And no one should fault you for how you grieve.
This is going to be our first Christmas without you. Halloween night we would have been over at your house starting to decorate, maybe sooner. You would have already watched at least 4 different Christmas Carol movies. You would have discussed which bear you needed to get this year for your collection. And how you cannot wait to see the babies play with your tree and redecorate it.
The smile on your face would have been undeniable. It is officially Christmas season for you. And that meant it was for the rest of us to. You would’ve started planning on your Christmas activities at school and which animated toys you were going to bring each day.
We decorated for Christmas this past weekend. Yes it’s early for a lot of people. But you instilled in us the true spirit of Christmas and no one can or ever will take that away from us or you.
To be honest. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this first Christmas without you. How my babies are going to handle it without you. Our Big Mom Mom.
The only thing that brings me comfort is knowing you’re going to be celebrating with your mom and telling her all about your village.
The only plans I have is to honor your memory in every way possible through Christmas. You were our Christmas gift each year. You were my second momma. I will never be able to express in words what you meant to me. I know it pales in comparison to your kids. But you introduced me as your adopted daughter. You were apart of my soul.
And when you left us you took a lot of pieces of souls with you.
This holiday season I encourage you to check in on the ones who have an empty chair this year. They may not be okay. And that’s okay. Even when we have no words to help. Sometimes just having another presence is all someone needs.
For those with the empty chair this year. Lean on your loved ones. Encourage each other to enjoy those memories of the people who should be occupying those chairs. Laugh through the tears, and try to be thankful for the years those chairs were occupied. They may have left us with holes in our souls. But that’s only because they were loved so much, and they had such an impact.
I will be fighting this battle with you this year. And the only way I can think of feeding my soul is by trying to fill the hole with the memories. So I challenge you to do the same.
Until next time my friends.
Keep standing stall like the wildflowers that you are.
Britt
I will live in the past, the present, and the future. The spirits of all three shall strive within me.
The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow. Don’t give up.
Robert Tew
When things are going good, it’s so easy not to think of the negatives. So why is it so hard for us when things are going badly, to think of the positives?
These past few weeks have been a bit of a struggle for a lot of people in my life. It’s hard to see our loved ones go through things that you have no control over, with no idea how to help. For me, it’s physically painful to see my loved ones in pain. How do we deal with this? How do we go about helping not only our loved ones, but ourselves see the positives?
This, in an essence goes back to my Fake It ‘Till Ya Make It blog. But it also goes deep into the entire meaning of my blog. Feeding your soul.
When you start discovering what truly feeds your soul, you’re able to start putting things into positive perspectives. There are times where I need isolation, meditation, yoga. There are times when I need to be surrounded by my best friends, or family. And then there’s the times when I need to pour myself into music.
Music has always fed my soul. Every aspect of it. It doesn’t matter the genre, what matters to me is the connection I get with a song. If the lyrics speak to me, my soul is being fed. This week has been the week that I’ve needed music to feed my soul.
With all of that being said, I’ve had a lot of discussions with my husband this past week about feeling like I’m consistently used by people for selfish reasons. I’ve always been the type of person who is happy help an individual in every way possible no matter the repercussions to my soul. I’ll deal with myself later. This year I’ve learned hard lessons. I’ve lost people who I’ve given everything to. My heart has been broken. Losing friendships can sometimes be worse than losing a romantic relationship. But something that I learned through this time was that I’ve literally given parts of my soul to people who never had any intentions on helping me when the time would eventually arise. I was surrounded by people who used me to make themselves feel good, to be selfish with me, and never in a good way.
They threw me away like trash, and carried on when they didn’t realize that when they threw “me” away, they threw away pieces of my soul with it. I was angry, resentful and heartbroken.
Then it hit me. If they were truly the people I had thought they were and who they portrayed themselves to be, I wouldn’t be in this position. I took complete responsibility for my heartbreak, because I trusted pieces of my soul with people who didn’t want them in the first place.
I’ve learned to keep that closer to me, the more I have learned to feed my soul, the more full I feel. And I refuse to entrust it with anyone who doesn’t deserve it ever again. Because the most positive thing in life is to be your own savior first. The narcissists will show their teeth when you start doing this. But remember to be true to yourself first, love yourself first, protect yourself first. The rest will come.
Luke Combs newest album What You See is What You Get just dropped on Friday through Spotify and I’ve not been able to stop streaming it. I’ve always respected Luke as an artist for many reasons. But one of my favorite things about him is how raw he gets. And no matter how deep a song can get, he finds a way to make it positive. I encourage you to lend an ear to this new album, you will not be disappointed.
When I was reflecting on all of this with my husband is when I encountered Luke Combs new album, and a song stuck out to me. Dear Today has done more for me this week than anything else. There is a lyric in this song that stopped me dead in my tracks..
Stop takin’ me for granted like I’ll always be around
Cause even as you read this boy that clock is tickin’ down
And remember every second I got’s borrowed. So I hope you think of me today,
sincerely tomorrow.
Luke Combs-Dear Today
He’s so right. Every second is borrowed, so reach out to who you care about. Quit wasting time and start living your life like you there isn’t a tomorrow. Treat every second as it’s your last. Because if there were no tomorrow, I hope your soul is full and you were as positive as you could be.
I challenge you to try to find a song today that feeds your soul. Listen to it as many times as you desire, reflect on it. At the end of the day, see how your soul felt. I challenge you to reflect on the people in your life. Are they soul feeders or soul suckers? What can YOU do to lead a more positive mindset with a full soul?
Until next time my friends. Continue to stand strong through the storms like the wildflower that you are.
Disclaimer: this post may contain affiliate links. I am in no way shape or form a professional or a doctor. i am not authorized or trying to give medical or legal advice. this article is intended for educational and informative purposes only.
The holidays are a time of joy, laughter, love, nostalgia, giving, family, and food comas.
At least that’s the way that I grew up. It is some of my most cherished memories. Spending time with every ounce of my family members, singing songs, eating our Grandparent’s famous meals, and going home with full bellies until we slipped into that blissful food coma.
And now all I can think of or feel when the holidays arrive is fear for my son’s life.
Back then, food allergies weren’t thought of. They weren’t something that was even really heard of. We maybe heard of being lactose intolerant but all that meant to us was that, unless those people wanted or didn’t care about having upset stomachs then they would just stay away from all milk products. Never in a million years did we think that food we cherished so dearly on the holidays could kill us.
Three years a go was when we learned about my youngest son being allergic to eggs. We were having a family breakfast. He was 13 months, I did everything I was supposed to. I followed all of the guidelines I was told to when feeding him. He was breastfed until he weaned himself at 15 months. Nobody in my family or my husband’s had food allergies, how could this happen? I had at this point heard of nut and shellfish allergies, but not eggs.
What did I do wrong? How am I supposed to cook or feed my family when eggs are in EVERYTHING?
Those were all of the things that I had to process in between his allergist giving me the results and providing us with a prescription for epi-pens, as well as educational resources. I got in my car to drive him home and cried. I had my moment, and then I knew what I had to do. Find a way to completely rid my house of anything that contained egg and start fresh. I called a friend and she helped me go through my entire household and I gave her everything that wasn’t safe for my little boy.
Things started to sink in, I felt alone, and then I opened the folder the doctor had given me. It was so overwhelming to look at all of the information and realizing how lucky we had been. I didn’t know that each time a person has an allergic reaction, it’s worse than before. I didn’t know that companies didn’t have to put a MAY CONTAIN statement on their food products. They only have to put it within the ingredients. I didn’t feel as alone anymore, but heartbroken to realize that 1 in 13 kids have food allergies. I dove myself into https://www.foodallergy.org/ to find out as much as I could to keep my baby safe. After all, his daddy and I are his only advocates until he knows enough to be able to speak up for himself.
It’s been over three years and despite everything in my power there is always an inner struggle. I want my son to be as safe as possible, but I can’t expect everyone to conform to what I feel needs to be done in order to keep my son safe. I am that helicopter mom. He has to be exposed to real life situations in order to learn, I know this. But it TERRIFIES me.
We have drifted apart from most family and friends. A lot of them don’t understand that he literally cannot be in the same room as eggs, or even be touched by someone who has eaten eggs. The guilt trips come. They always come. My son feels isolated from his family, he doesn’t know half of them. And it’s NO ONE’S fault.
A few years a go we decided to have Thanksgiving dinners at our house to give him a proper holiday meal and stay home from the other family dinners, whoever wanted to come could come but we would not be leaving the house that day. Nothing gives me greater joy than seeing my son being able to enjoy a big meal and not have to ask everyone around him if the food is “safe” for him. This house and mommy and daddy’s cooking are his safe zone. But yet, the guilt trips continue, the drama continues and I honestly don’t care.
So yes, our dear family, the scariest part of our holidays are YOU. Not because you don’t love us, we know that you do, as we do you. But because you try to use emotional blackmail to force us to put our son in a life threatening situation. It’s not enjoyable for us or him. We are happy to welcome you into our home and even visit yours on a different day. But we hope that one day you will understand. We have found a way as a family to positively move forward and adapt to the way our lives have changed. And we couldn’t be happier with the choices we have made thus far.
Over 32 million Americans struggle, live, and thrive with food allergies each day. My son is 1 of them. But the biggest part of battling a disease is having a support system. This is no different. So I challenge the family and friends out there with loved ones who suffer from food allergies to do your research, try to understand, and help them fight to try to alleviate the burdens this disease puts on them. You never know the difference you may make.
If you want to take a step further I encourage you to check out https://www.foodallergy.org/ and their resources. Every day is a learning experience. Choose how YOU wish to feed your soul.
Until next time my friends! Continue to stay strong like the wildflowers you are in this stormy weather.
Britt
THIS POST IS NOT SPONSORED BY FARE BUT I DO SUPPORT THEIR CAUSE.
Don’t Just Be Good To Others. Be Good To Yourself Too
Hello All! My name is Brittany. I am a stay at home mother of two amazing little boys and a wife to a wonderful husband. Let’s face it, as human beings we all reach those moments in life where we’re searching for some kind of purpose whether we realize it or not. I often find myself mindlessly searching the internet looking for something that speaks to my soul. You know that feeling when you didn’t realize that you were experiencing something until you found the words that describe exactly how/what you’re feeling? I have found that my soul purpose in life is to help others. Whether it be through words, sharing experiences, or just giving them something that they can relate to. I hope this blog will help you in some way. Whether it is entertaining or informative I will cover it all! Have fun and enjoy life with me!
Feeding your soul to me is what what it means to feel complete bliss.
I feel complete bliss when I’m truly taking in my surroundings. It could be anything from hearing my children laugh, to being out in the wild, to baking in the kitchen, or listening to music.
I found that when you are disconnected from superficial things, such as social media, trying to maintain soul-sucking relationships… That is when you are able to truly feed your soul. What matters the most is who you are surrounded by everyday.
I have learned that living life as stress free as I can also helps with positive lifestyles. By doing the things that feed my soul, I feel re-centered and ready to take on life’s challenges even harder and rejuvenated than before.
What works for me is yoga, meditation, and being outdoors as much as possible. Being a mom and wife you can easily lose who you are. Don’t misunderstand the fact that I love my family unconditionally. However, by taking the steps each day to take even 15 minutes for myself has done so much for my mental health. We as individuals deserve that much in a world that never sops.
My kids and husband have noticed it as well. They want to be around me more. They want to show me more affection. And honestly, they want to get involved in the things that I am doing as well. It was such an eye opener for me to realize how mundane their lives were for them because all I had ever done was live for them. It has grown our family bond in ways that I cannot even begin to describe.
So today I challenge you all to take 15 minutes out of your day to do whatever feeds your souls. I promise you won’t regret it.
Much love. Until next time my friends! Stay strong like the wildflowers you are in this stormy weather.
Feeding My Soul One Day At A Time 